Letters.

Suffolk week update is on the way, but I felt the need to do this as people are doing it a lot on Tumblr.
I am going to write letters to some people on here, though I will probably never show them. Just an interesting exercise really.
First few here:


Lachs.
Again, you are first on a list for me. This time you were just the first name to pop into my head, but normally you are the first in a small list of people I know I can turn to when I'm lost. I can talk to you about anything, and you never let me fall. Thank you.
We only really became friends part way into year 10, when I started spending more time with the bench gang. And yet... in the last few years, you have supported me through so much. And I hope I have been there for you as much as you have for me.
You were there when I had no one else to turn to, and I'm pretty sure that if my major fall had happened at a time when you were around, I wouldn't have fallen as far. But I did fall... And after Will had set me back on my feet again, you were the one to keep me standing. We've fought hand in hand through whatever we both faced, through the good times and the really fucking bad, and even through our major depressions.
I could thank you forever, and in the end I probably will.
I'll admit, there have been moments when we have gotten on each others nerves, but I'm glad to say we can always talk it through and never fight. 
I know I can never pay you back for everything you have done, but you know I fully intend to pay it forward.
Thank you, my amazing fairy, ginger, 'gay' bezzie, comrade, and friend.
I love you.
Jen xx
P.s. I'm sorry for what I put you through with Callum. Truly.


Cheryl
This letter feels really difficult to write. I think you will know why, if you do see it.
I adore you. Yes, we fight, but I still love you. Thank you for being there when I needed you, and I hope that you know I have tried to be there whenever you have needed me.
I'm sorry.
For everything.
Here goes.
I respect you too much to lie to you, so I'm just going to be as honest as possible and hope you understand. I wish you would just tell me. Instead of bottling up all your anger, frustration, and general feelings, even if they aren't aimed at me, I wish you would tell me. Because that way, if I have done something, I can sort it out or talk it through with you. And then we can get through it together, as friends should. I meant what I said in our massive long facebook argument. There's no point detailing it here, you know what we both said.
So, I really hope you haven't taken that badly, because I love you, and truth be told I miss you.
Jenny.


Jenni
I'm struggling to find something to say which I haven't already said a thousand times before.
I have found a song which I really want to sing to you because it honestly just makes me think of you.

Yeah... it's about a break up. But I feel like that is what has happened to us. Our friendship broke up. I'd love it if we really could be proper friends again. I know it can never be the same as before, but the way it is now just feels like we are strangers.
I miss you.
And I will still wait for the time when we can call each other sister again.
But .... I don't think I can wait forever.
Jenny.


Kat!
Oh you beautiful human being. 
I'm sad to say we drifted apart when you moved away. The further you moved away, the further we drifted apart. Which sucked, cause you are awesome.
You were my first friend when I moved from Northampton to Broughton aged 8ish. THANK YOU. Seriously. That first day led to many years of amazing memories full of fun and ginger-ness. And then to last week. Oh my purple, that was one of the best weeks in my short-ish existence thus far. Honestly. Not only was it so so good to see you again, but you made it so fun, emotional, exciting, intriguing and strangely inspirational that I hope it is a week I never forget. As you so excellently said in your blog post, I "arrived with a relative grip on normality and went home with the mentalist twang characteristic of [your] group of friends, a happier perspective of life as a whole, purple hair and three slices of *cinammon cake." Not to mention the strange new addiction to tea.
That week with you made me so so happy, and I honestly feel much more comfortable being myself now than I ever have before. I hope you had as much fun as I did, Chicken Fingers.
I miss you, and I love you.
Visit soon.
Your Jen xx <3
P.s. I'm covered in BEES!!!!!


Suffolk people in general.
Thank you for the time I was allowed to spend with each and every one of you. You guys really do astound me. Thank you for welcoming me so amazingly, and for making me so comfortable and happy that you were the first group of people to meet me as myself, no pretences, no adjustments, just pure Jen. Thank you for accepting her :) I hope I never let myself forget y'all. And I hope I really did make a good first impression on all of you. Thanks for the memories :D
Rory - Thank you for what you said about me on your blog post. It was lovely, and really meant a lot <3
Ben - If you shave that beard off I may cry. *Strokes from afar* And thank you for our 'song exchange' on Tuesday :) Made me rather happy <3
Miriam - Thank you for making Kat happy :) And for just being a generally awesome and unusual person.
Sam - T'was really really good to see you again, you little alkie ;)
George - Thank you for all the cuddles!!!!!!!!!!
Right, back to all of you. (Including you, Kat). I hated hopping on that train and leaving you. You made the world so bright and colourful when I was with you, but it was almost like the colour began to seep away the closer I got to home. Luckily, I have an odd streak of purple that will - until it too fades - serve as a reminder of the colours and general awesomeness you showed me.
I love and miss you all.
I'll be back when the colour fades.
Jen xx
P.s. Just found myself trying to think of something vaguely negative to say so this letter seems less ... mushy. I can't think of anything, except that I miss you.


Ellie
Hey Unicorn :) First of all, thank you so much for the memories <3 You are honestly are like a little (age-wise anyway ;)) sister to me. As I have always said, you are amazing, beautiful, astonishing and inspirational to me. It sometimes feels like we are growing apart, but I guess that's okay as long as you know you will always have a big - if short - sister in me, and I always want to be there for you. I hope you know you can tell me absolutely anything.
I'm sorry for all the guy stuff that has happened since I introduced you to my friends... I really am.
I hate to see you unhappy, so I'm always here for a hug and a chat if you need one.
I'm leaving school next year, and though I don't want to leave you, I don't really know what to do. I feel like I should begin to distance myself from you - and the other 'young' ones - so that when I leave for good, it won't hurt as much. But even when I convince myself that it would be for the best, I can't bring myself to do it. So I really don't know... I love you too much to leave you just yet, which is actually kind of selfish really. It's going to be so much harder when I do leave.
Sorry.
Love you, dear.
Jen xx


Aaaaand that's all I can be bothered to do for now. More to follow.
Hatter xx