Learning Curve.

Here's the thing.
Life has been getting 'all up in the shit'.
And I've been letting it bother me like I used to.
But yesterday, I chatted to someone, and I have spent the time since taking myself on a little learning curve.

So, as usual, this is mostly about love.
I tried and failed not to fall for someone, and if you read this regularly, it shouldn't be hard to guess who that was. I fought against it, but he kept doing these things that gave some part of me hope. But I spent Friday being reminded that for us, there was none. And being second best to another girl. I will not pretend it didn't bother me. I seriously adore this guy. But I'm learning not to let it bother me now. I've been so, so hypocritical. I have completely ignored the fact that I have no reason to feel lonely, because there is someone who never fails to remind me he loves me. Everyday, he is there waiting for me, and I haven't appreciated that as much as I should until now. Thank you, m'love. Je t'aime. Truly, unashamedly and completely.

Also, I found a quote just in time to remind myself of something I had started to forget: "When you judge someone, it doesn't say something about them. It says everything about you." <-- Very true, and something I think most of us need to remember.

And I just made myself sit down and have a very long talk with mum about money. In the end, we need to just forget about our foolish pride and acknowledge the fact that we really do live in relative poverty now. It's time we stopped relying on unreliable people like my arrogant father, and it's time we started thinking intelligently about our use of money. Cutting down on absolutely everything. Suffolk will, in my opinion, be my last outing for a long time. We simply can't afford any more. And I need to try 10 times harder to get a job. Forget about my pride, focus on my courage, and drag myself round every damn shop in town until someone pays me to work there.

So, because of all this whatnot, I shall spend Easter reminding myself of who I want to be (and revising :P). Wish me luck.

Hatter xx

P.s. Sammykins? I mean it. Thank you for everything.