*Sigh*.

Not sure how I feel today.
Stressed, mostly.
But Beardy texted me through the day, so it was better than it might have been.
Tresham wasn't too bad, although I think I've been pretty melancholy since I woke up :/ Emma gave me a lift back to Bishop, so that saved my legs :) 
Went to music, which was... okay. Good bits and bad bits. My lovely Lion gave me a card because I'm on study leave from now on, so they won't get to see me for a month! D: The card was so sweet <3
Didn't see Fairy at the end of lunch, and Om is away doing archery in Croatia with Team GB, so I felt completely lost without my two best friends. Completely. It doesn't make sense without them.
For some reason my afternoon lessons felt really crappy. Texted Beardy and mum, and they made me smile.
Said 'goodbye for a month' to everyone I wouldn't see, which made me a little sad. Especially having to say it to Lion and my 'little sister' Heather </3 Completely adore those two. I actually think of them like younger (yet taller) siblings. Promised everyone I'd visit between/after exams, but don't know if I'll actually be able to stick to that :/
Went to town with Em, which was hilarious. We have such a laugh together :D Shame I won't be there for her birthday on Monday :(


SO MUCH TO LOOK FORWARD TO SOON.


Tomorrow I'm going to see Wicked with m'lovely Darts :D <3 Next Friday is the Incidents gig at the OBS Final, and I should be taking Ladybird (news about him actually...), so that should be epic :D <3 Then Darts is taking me to the Harry Potter Studio Tour!!!!!!!!!! on the 24th ish, so that should be AMAZING. Seeeeriously can't wait XD After all my exams Beardy and I are meeting in Cambridge, which should be rather awesome XD Half term after that, and hopefully will have a sleepover with Heather, Unicorn and Em :D and might be meeting up with other people too. *EXCITEMENT*!!!!!!!


So...Ladybird news...
The Unicorn likes Ladybird. And he knew a while ago, but now he is responding to it and appears to like her back. I desperately want to be completely happy for them, and I kind of am. But there's a little part of me that burns whenever I see/hear about them being cute together. I don't like Ladybird like that, so it's not that kind of jealousy. It's more... ugh. I don't know how to explain it. He means too much to me, but in a close-friend-sense. I need him to be the same as he normally is with me. I need his warmth, and his hugs, and his stupid jokes. So no matter how much I desperately want to be happy for them, that part of me is terrified, because I know that the closer they get, the more he will drift away from me and change how he acts around me. I just don't know that I can take it right now. I want that part of me to go away, so I don't rely on him any more and I can be completely happy for them. To be fair, I don't need him as much lately, but there is still that tiny part. I hate it. But that's how it is. And I don't know how to change it.