Just made a bubble gum bubble the size of my face.

It was awesome until it burst. 

Cause foxes are so damn adorable.

The first 20 odd seconds are the cutest.

SO FUCKING ADORABLE.


I can officially add this to the reasons why I may one day get a tattoo of a fox...

Tell them now, dammit!

Okay so Nerd just sent me this video, which is a bit of a follow up to my post about suicide, and it has a message that needs hearing.

I know I'm a Christian, and it was made by an atheist, but I don't see why the heck that would ever matter. The guy has an important message, and everyone needs to listen. So many lives could be saved. To be honest the amount of swearing is ridiculous, but I hope the message isn't lost in it.


So yeah. Blame Nerd for the continuance of the topic.


Basically, if someone died - no matter how - and you would post messages on their facebook wall or whatever afterwards, take that message and give it to them now. Because now is when they are going to hear it, and now is when they need it.


That is the  challenge for you today. If you love someone, and you would tell them something if you lost them, don't wait. Tell them tonight, or tomorrow. But don't wait until it's too late.


He also makes another point.


Please please don't hurt yourself or commit suicide. You may think you are alone, but there are people who don't even know you that would mourn you with all their heart. It's not just your close friends you are leaving behind. It's the ones you have yet to meet or may never meet too.


Food for thought.


Hatter (and Nerd.)
xx

Lazing on a sunny afternoon...

^ Exactly how I have spent this weekend. And that is also a good old song from the 60s I think...
Also learnt these songs on guitar:

Good songs. Addicted to the first right now.
Hope life is good with y'all.


Meeting L at our new haunt the record shop tomorrow morning, so I'm off to bed.


PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment with something you want me to talk about. I get tired of rambling with no clue about what you want.
Thanks!


Hatter out x

Evening, Twin.

Sorry the last post was a bit of a downer, but I felt it needed to be said.
Done pretty much nothing today.
Now watching The Dark is Rising. It reminded me how I always thought I had a twin. A proper one, not Gloves or Sexy Twin. I don't. I asked mum, and she says I never had a twin or another sibling... so I have no idea where the feeling has come from. I've just always felt that another part of me (like another person, but connected) was out there somewhere, just out of reach.
Ah well.
I am twin-less.


Luckily, I have a lovely family, and a brilliant extended family :)


Maybe one day the feeling will fade.


Have you ever felt anything like that?


Let me know.


Hatter xx

I think it's time we talked about it.

Suicide.
The banned topic.
And the one that really needs talking about.


It's hard. So if you want to walk away from this now, that's fine. Just close the window, or tab, or whatever you are viewing this on. It's up to you.
I just can't keep ignoring it any more.


But... to be honest, I don't really know where to start. 


I suppose I should explain the clip, first. It's from Glee, Season 3 episode 14. When I saw this part of the episode, I was tearing up. It broke my heart. I don't know how anyone could watch that without feeling emotional. The whole episode needs to be watched really. There's so much more of this story that you need to know, but I figure you wouldn't really mind about the rest of it. So I thought you could just have that for now.
So... in brief. The guy who chooses to kill himself is called Dave. He's in his last year of high school. He is a regular guy. He loves sport, is intelligent, has loads of friends, but he used to bully this gay guy Kurt. Why? Because he himself is gay, and he hates that. He hates that Kurt can stand tall and proud about who he is, when he just can't. Eventually, something changes in him. He knows he has been wrong. So he becomes a much better person, trying so hard to make up for what he had done. But he is still to afraid to come out. He changed schools, and everything seemed to get better for him. Until his new friends found out he was gay. Their bullying drove him to the edge within days. As you saw, he can't take the pain any more. He tries to commit suicide. Fortunately, his Dad finds him in time, and he survives.


I don't really know what I am trying to say with the video. I guess it was just a way of opening your eyes...


A message from the actor: 

Even the strongest people can fall to the bottom, and not get up.


I don't know if you know how it feels to be on the very edge. I don't know if any of you have ever considered or tried committing suicide. I do. And I really hope you haven't. There aren't really words to explain how it feels. How it feels to have lost all hope, and all joy in life. It feels very dark. And it's lonely. If all your friends have walked away or just don't understand... well... it's really hard to keep holding on. I was lucky. I was so so lucky. Someone stopped me from getting to the point where I went through with it. Other people aren't so lucky. Some people don't get rescued. They reach the edge, and they jump. A whole, beautiful life... lost forever. Because they got pushed too far. And no one cared.


I know suicide doesn't seem very real to some people. People started complaining that Glee went too far by addressing this issue. I disagree. Suicide happens all the time. Successful or not, someone could step of the edge any second. And it happens almost every second.


Suicide is the leading cause of death, particularly in young people, both in England and Worldwide.
It is estimated that around 1 million people will die by suicide worldwide each year.
During 2008, there were 4,282 suicides in England, and there are at least 140,000 attempted suicides each year in England and Wales.
On average, there is one death from suicide every few minutes.
1 in 65000 children aged 10 to 14 commit suicide each year.


There are so many causes of suicide. Look here for some research into that.
It is rarely the same from one person to the next.
And just because someone wants to commit suicide, they are not weak. It just means that stress or another cause has overwhelmed their coping mechanisms, and no matter how hard they fought the darkness, it took over.


Suicide isn't that far away. But nobody ever realises that, because no one wants to hear it. 


But please... I beg you... Just listen.


Suicide happens.
It happens all around us, all the time.
But it isn't hopeless.
There is always something you can do.


NHS - Suicide - Help Others


Getting help yourself


The most suggested way of helping other people, or even trying to help yourself, is to just talk. It doesn't really matter who to - parent, guardian, GP, close friend, the Samaritans, etc.
But talking does help. 
I wish I'd talked. I know if I had, I wouldn't have been so close to the edge that only Ladybird could save me.
If someone you know, or even a stranger, looks like they need someone, just go over to them and see what you can do. Whether they want to talk about how they are really feeling doesn't really matter. Just try and make them smile. And if they do want to talk about it, let them. Try an understand. Remind them that they are not alone. A random act of kindness from a stranger or a friend can brighten a few minutes of someone's day, or even give them some hope. And that could make all the difference.




This part is to you, if you are on the edge, or having suicidal or self-harming thoughts...
Please, please don't let yourself get to the edge. You could have such a bright, bright future.
You may be feeling completely alone, but there is always someone out there who cares. That I can promise you. You are never alone. Someone you know may have even been in that same dark place. There's always someone to talk to, and there is always someone who cares.


Life isn't easy. I'm not stupid enough to lie to you about that. But it can get better, and as Kit and others like to remind me: If it isn't better, it isn't over.


Thank you for reading.

Hey y'all.

It's been a good few days really.
Lots of fun lunchtimes with my music boys, the consequence of today's being that Mad Harry now owns me O.o
We do have some great times. And they've all really welcomed me, which is so lovely :) <3
Keep getting pissed off with Gloves lately though :/ She keeps doing things that really get on my nerves, and there were a couple of days when I just couldn't stand her. I'm trying to sort it out with her, I really am. I was talking to Ladybird yesterday, and he said something that made me realise it wasn't worth fighting with her... Thing is, I'm still finding it hard to trust her. So because of that I can never be myself around her any more, and I see her in a very different light. I don't think we can ever be as close as we were. We can get better than this, but I think when she pushed me away she pushed me too far. And I just don't think I have the strength or trust to climb back again.
But hey. L, H, Unicorn, Lion and my music boys are keeping me happy and strong everyday.
So life is good really.


Love life utterly sucks. But hey. More important things to me right now.


LIKE THIS PICTURE



SO ADORABLE AND AWESOME.


Little song/poem I just wrote. Not sure what it means, but apparently this is how I feel tonight.


There's a sadness I can't shake
I don't know how long it will take
Until I can stand and greet
The sun, steady on my feet
Small walls, hide, the sight.


You lift me up to the sky
I know with you I'll survive
And when the darkness closes in
There's someone I can bring
To hold, tight, tonight.
Hold, tight, tonight.


I've watched you fall
I've seen you cry
But I'll break down the walls
And I'll hold you tonight.


Song of the day is a really sad Ed Sheeran song, but I can't get it out of my mind, so we are just going to have to end on a sad note today.

"Let the wild wind blow...

...let it rain and then
The clouds will turn and go
And the sun will shine again"


Chorus of a song by Tom Paxton, another voice of my childhood.

*Breathes*

Okay, so I've had a little chat with Brilliant and feeling slightly calmer.


Been addicted to this song all day. Even gave myself a break from school work to learn it on guitar :D

Someone had called 25th August the day that Smurf and I broke up, so I messaged Smurf to remind him (just in case he was confused too) that I did not break up with him. On the 25th I phoned him and asked for a break (i.e. a pause) in the relationship, not an end. We technically broke up last month, when he said he wanted to end everything and that he was over me.
Right.
Now everyone is clear, we shall move on.


Hopefully finishing my photography tomorrow! I have enlisted the help of Gloves and Giant One model-wise, as H and Sexy Twin never replied as to when they were free ¬¬.
My coursework is due on Tuesday, so this is going to be a very rushed, last minute shoot.


I'm finding not judging some people quite hard lately. But I guess because they seem to have changed so much lately, it is naturally a bit harder.


Back to school tomorrow... Yay. I'd say I'm looking forward to seeing people, but I'm probably going to be spending my whole lunch time editing photos in art, so I'll only see people in my RE and Psychology sets :/


Hope y'all are having a fun half-term.


Do you judge people? Be honest. Do you try really hard not to, but sometimes you just can't help it? Or are you strong enough to resist and never judge people?
Let me know.


Hatter out x

Wow.

So someone isn't as innocent as they claim to be.


Sorry. Slightly pissed off right now.


I'll come back in a bit.


Hatter out.

Valentine's Day

Was on Tuesday.
I received a Valentine's Day card on Thursday, and I have absolutely no idea who it is from. Seriously. No clue whatsoever.
So, after being confused I have turned to you people. Because you are the only ones I can talk to really, and you may be able to help (if you know me. If you live in one of those other countries it is highly unlikely).
Anywho.
Because I love you, I shall show you the card.

So readers, please go all Sherlock for me!


Points to consider:
I researched the heart. It is originally from here so I considered that it could be from one of my nerdier friends. However, I discovered that it is one of the first results on google images if you google 'Valentine's day card'. So now I'm as lost as ever.
The only person who writes anything like that is Gloves (WAS IT YOU, TWINFACE?!), but I don't recollect her ever doing her 'e's' like that.... So we continue to be completely lost.
Card could be homemade, as it does not fit in the envelope properly. Cutting knife clearly used along the edges and fold lines.
Congrats to the sender. Your card is pretty awesome. Now, WHO ARE YOU?


This is why the whole 'secret valentine's card' thing doesn't make much sense to me. It seems like it could be a waste, given there is a possibility that the person who receives it may not figure out who you are, and your efforts might then be in vain, which is a shame.
I hope I do find my sender. I think. Though it is probably from one of my girl friends being nice XD Especially since the heart on the inside was done in glittery red pen... 

Fairies and Guitars.

Saturday.
Woke up early and tidied my room for Fairy, who was coming round at about 10.30.
We guitared and learnt a couple of songs until mum said she would take us into town. IT WAS RAINING D: We passed the three cocks pub - "For when two just isn't enough", and headed into town. I began Fairy's tour by dragging him to the upstairs of the 2nd hand shop, which is basically a record shop. It's brilliant up there! Stacks of old vinyl records everywhere, guitars, sheet music, posters and framed photo+record combo things on the walls, old radios and record players stacked in the corner, and trombone lights XD
It's my favourite place in town now :) Fairy and I stayed in there for ages, just gazing around in awe and blissfully poring over the records of Hendrix, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, etc.  When we eventually dragged ourselves back into the rain, we went straight to Intersales Music and drifted around talking about guitars for ages and gazing at the beautiful clearance Tanglewood electro acoustic in the window. It really is gorgeous. Headed to Costa and just chatted about life and whatnot, whilst sipping on our lovely hot drinks and nomming mini muffins. T'was rather funny :D
Walked all the way down to Make Music and sat around playing one of their 'Countrymen' guitars - very high action, but absolutely lovely sound! Dragged ourselves away and went back to the upstairs of the 2nd hand shop, where we asked to play the old acoustic on the wall. Also had a high action but a good sound. Stayed in that little haven for a while, then back up to Intersales to listen to the staff jam across the store. Unfortunately Fairy chickened out of asking to try out the Tanglewood in the window, and so we just left for the Newlands Centre to get money out for the cinema later. Drifted around Home Bargains before making our way down to HMV, and raiding the CDs. Raved to Arlandria by the Foo Fighters when it was played in the shop speakers; (And texted Ladybird to notify him of the fact). Also 'tested out' the ipod and headphones. I.e. we stood around listening to music for free XD Met mum, bought peanut butter in Boots XD Fairy was being rather camp :P Met up with mum again and drove home, where we continued to jam, though we added an amp to the mix <3
We nommed food while watching the BRILLIANT movie that is Nowhere Boy and jamming. Learnt the main riff for 'Raunchy' by Duane Eddy, which is the song that got George Harrison into The Beatles. (Side note: In HMV, Fairy managed to forget who George Harrison was D: Tis an outrage!). 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBCq8XDgrP0


So Jah.
Ate dinner, and then did a mad ad-hoc scramble to get to the cinema in Northampton on time. We went to see Chronicle, which was excellent. Kind of :O in some places, but in a good way. Thoroughly enjoyable, well made, and intriguing. You should see it :D
Sat in the cinema section of Sol Central chatting and listening to music. I bought mother dear some pink shrimps and white mice from the pick 'n' mix because I'm such a cool daughter ;)
Went home, then Fairy went home, and that basically brings us to this blog post.


So all in all, a fantastic musical day with my Fairy :D <3 Must must must do it again sometime. And drag my more like-minded friends to my secret haven at the second hand shop, because it is just so damn epic XD Saw something I would love to buy for Ladybird if I had the money - The Beatles framed record and photograph thing. It looks lovely, and I think he would like it :P Now just to get a job and find the money.... Hmmm....


Hatter xx

Blurry days and the perfect man.

Tuesday and Wednesday were mostly spent communicating with Brilliant, and watching movies while helping mum clear out the loft.


Thursday.
Now, Thursday, has been an excellent day. One of my favourite days actually.
Woke up slightly later than I meant to, and then spent aaaages getting ready. Went to town to search for dear Charlotte's birthday present as her party was due to begin several hours later. Wandered town for aaaages, chatted to 'father' and bumped into Harold, which was lovely :D Forgot to check if he was wearing his dirty white shoes though. Finally purchased a bath bomb, chocolate heart and sketchpad for Charlotte, and then mum picked me up really late from town. Rushed to get ready for the party, and Gloves did my hair.
Got lost on the way, but eventually we found the place, met up with Sophie, Nerd and Zilla, and entered the party. Greeted Charlotte and stood around talking to the very few guests that I actually knew. Our little gang claimed a corner in the big room after a while, and chatted there. At one point Gloves and I went back into the food room for a reason I have quite forgotten, and  as we left suddenly witnessed two guys making out. I believe they were playing 'gay chicken' and the one our group had named 'future Jasper' won. Turns out that Fred, the guy who had proposed the gay chicken challenge, didn't know that 'future Jasper' was gay. T'was rather epic to see. So, when it ended, Gloves and I returned to our group slightly stunned by what we had just witnessed.
After a little while, a game of Fruit Salad was set up, and most people participated. Zilla and Nerd sat out though, and I joined them. Must say, watching witty people play Fruit Salad is excellent XD The wittiest of them all was naturally 'Future Jasper', whom we began to contemplating stealing or replicating, so that we could have one of our own.
The game ended, the chairs were moved, and people just hung around being awesome. Had fun times with the gang :D <3
Later on, I returned to the gang to find we had just been joined by 'future Jasper', and I spent the next few hours being bewildered by his awesome. Seriously. His only flaw was the moment he failed to catch a sweet in his mouth. Other than that, he is a perfect man. He is charming, witty, sweet, caring, strong, well dressed and incredibly amiable. Only the occasion when he failed the sweet-mouth-catch, the sweet hit Gloves's arm, and she said "I have your saliva on my wrist." He responded by turning to me and saying something like: "I confess I normally have a more charming way of getting my saliva on people's wrists." At my questioning look, he took my hand and gently kissed my wrist. Proper gentleman style. I confess I died inside slightly. No one should be that perfect and awesome. It cannot bode well for the rest of us. As the night went on, 'Future Jasper' continued to be ridiculously awesome and charming. I fear that I may start subconsciously comparing guys to him, which is awfully unfair given I don't know how anyone could beat that awesome. And I'm honestly not exaggerating about him. Just ask Gloves. We literally couldn't find a single flaw. He can even pick me up with one arm for goodness sake! DAMN YOU PERFECT MAN. Why do you have to be so damn awesome and lovely and lovable??
Anywho.
So spent the majority of the evening with the gang and 'future Jasper'. It was incredibly fun, and I'm really glad I went to Charlotte's party :) She is awesome :) <3
Got home fairly late, but oh well.


Friday
Attempted to work.
Failed.
Chatted to mum and one of her best friends.
Chatted to Brother (A) and his gf, who had arrived last night.
Dressed up nicely and went for a lovely meal with the family.
Came home and watched 'The Prestige', which is a bluddy good film.

War paint.

Monday:
Awesome day :)


Kit and Brilliant are staying at a travel lodge nearby for a couple of days, so they popped into the village for some awesome times :) Lots of people were invited but it ended up just being Giant One, Carla, Kit, Brilliant and I for most of the day, and then Gloves too later.


I arrived at the park slightly late (-.-) and received a massive double hug from Kit and Brilliant. :D Couldn't stop hugging m'dear Kit! Missed her so much :( Carla and Giant One were already there, and we just hung around the new climbing frame for a while waiting for Nathan. Had fun being insane and whatnot with m'dears. So so nice to see Kit. And meet Brilliant. :) He is quite awesome. <3 We also nommed sweets and stuff, which produced entertaining results.
Got bored of the climbing frame so decided to go and stand on the springy elephants near it. That was fun. When we started drowning in the rain and had decided Nathan had probably missed the bus, we sought shelter in a crappy sheltery-place in the other park. Some odd looking tracksuit children approached with snowballs, but quickly veered away when they saw our totally hench group of misfits slightly clearer. The looks of defiance in our eyes sent them scurrying away to the village hall. Well. More likely they couldn't be bothered with a bunch of scrawny fools and were saving themselves for better targets. Either way, soon after we had watched the tracksuiters plod away, we ourselves left our useless shelter in the hopes that the bus stop thing on the main road would provide better shelter.
Arrived at the bus stop and ended up sitting with m'lovely Brilliant on my lap. He was nice and warm. And comfy. After a while I ended up being on his lap instead, and I can confirm that is also very comfortable :D He really was very interesting to meet. And he has an AWESOME hat. Which I stole. Frequently. At one point I trotted over to the other side of the road with it and danced randomly like the insane person I am. Brilliant produced his guitar, and sat around impressing us in the cold for a little while. Lots of lovely chatting, jamming and fun times :) 
We started to freeze, and so crossed to the pub - only to discover we had a good few hours before it opened. We therefore headed to the Co-op, which provided minimal heating, tacky commercialised Valentine's Day wubbish, and a lovely staff discount for the Giant One :D So we purchased a few extra nibbles, and went back out to the cold again. 
After considering our options, and then the irony of our final choice, we plodded off down my street to the Church, which we dearly hoped was open. A couple of police cars passed us, and at one point we witnessed one zoom down the street, perform a very smooth turn, and head back the way it came. Very confused about what was going on! But anywho. Le church. Kit, Giant One and I were immediately reminiscing about old times being adorable children together - mostly Kit and Giant One, as they were already friends when I stumbled onto the scene. Brilliant, Carla - who shall henceforth be known as "Darts" - and I continued into the church while Kit and Giant One contemplated an old cat flap. It was like a scene from a horror movie! We entered the cold, darkened church, glancing around cautiously and flicking on the only light switch we could find. Eventually Kit and Giant One came back and we found a heroic little heater which provided us with lovely light and warmth! So we sat huddled around this heater behind the altar, snuggling and playing guitar while snacking on lots of chocolate and whatnot. 
It was so so nice to be with Kit again. I really have missed her. And even when I'm old and grey and slightly delirious, I will always remember that little ginger nine year old with a face full of biscuits that became my first and best friend here. Plus, she really does look epic with her newly purple hair XD
Muchos snuggling with the gang and especially Brilliant, whom I had somehow managed to become very attached to very quickly. It is quite unusual that I become attached to someone that quickly. The last person it happened this much with was Ladybird. No... wait. It was one of my music boys. I think. Maybe. Either way, I don't normally get this attached to people so quickly. I'm still struggling to get closer to Darts and t'other newbies, and even some friends that I have known for years. So Brilliant can join that select group of rare people that capture my attention and attachment immediately. I suppose it helps that he is very comfy and snuggly - although I have now learned that I am an exception for him too! Jah, apparently it is normally quite difficult to have physical contact with people, especially those he barely knows, but he surprisingly had no problem with hugging me, and apparently felt quite attached to me too. So there we go.
Jah. Lots of snuggling, chatting, photo taking and nomming. After about 3 hours  of such activities around the heater, we shivered up to the pub and arrived a couple of minutes before it opened. Poor Brilliant was shaking he was so cold, so Kit and I gave him our scarves and penguin huddled for warmth. Eventually we were set loose in the pub, and immediately hogged the pool table area. From now on there was muchos hugging with Kit and Brilliant, dart throwing with EVERYONE, and Giant One taught Kit and I pool again. Unfortunately, despite her nickname, Darts was unable to get a bullseye when playing darts, whilst Giant One managed to get three. Git -.- <3 At one point, Kit provided the title for this post by attacking us with the pool chalk and smearing blue 'war paint' across our cheeks. Good times and photographs did follow XD
When we ran out of money and motivation for pool or darts, we all plonked ourselves down on a table and continued le chatting and massive amounts of catching up. We played truth or dare - though despite being in a pub we were all sober, and so only ever did truths - which led to some funny moments, but also some very serious and honest moments, especially from Brilliant. I quite enjoyed those little insights into his mind. And it was quite interesting to see how much Kit had changed since leaving us so long ago. She is, admittedly, very different, but she is still the Kit that I know and adore, just slightly more... 'adventurous'.
Giant One drifted back to darts after a while, as he isn't all too comfortable with truth or dare. We drifted back out of truths and into the world of general chit-chat and an abundance of photo-taking. All too soon, hours had passed and it was time for Brilliant and Kit to disappear to the House Of Gloves and leave us all heart broken all over again. It was so so hard to let them go :( I even clambered over the table to blow kisses to them out the window. Five minutes after they left we were missing them already. Yeah. T'was that bad. They really are that awesome. So, in our saddened state, Darts, Giant One and I talked quietly until Darts's taxi arrive and she sped off home.
Stopping at mine to pick up keys and DVDs, Giant One and I went back to his, where we curled up on the sofa and watched Mr Popper's Penguins. T'WAS HILARIOUS. I recommend it to all awesome people and Jim Carrey lovers. Got a massive pizza which we nommed our way through until a text arrived from Kit saying her parents were on their way to pick them up. So, naturally, we paused the movie and raced over to the House Of Gloves and arrived breathless and desperate for an extra few minutes with those peculiar legends that are Brilliant and Kit. 
Spent about 10 minutes or so lounging around with Gloves, Brilliant, Kit and Giant One. T'was quite fun. More snuggling and stuff. Also more truths. And chatting. But mostly giggling and photo taking. Kit's parents arrived and so us youths tumbled upstairs and crammed into Gloves's bedroom to get a few extra cramped minutes in private while the rentals chatted. Mostly snuggling and photo taking here, along with me stealing Brilliant's awesome hat. Again. XD
Time allowed us a few more hugs and cheek-kisses before the night stole my beloved Kit and new found friend Brilliant once more. Giant One and I stood waving them off on the road before returning, slightly more sorrowful, to the last 15 minutes of the movie and half an episode of Scrubs.
I think I got home sometime around midnight, and went fairly swiftly to bed.


It was a fantastic day, one which I hope I shan't forget. Thank you to Kit and Brilliant for visiting and making this day so special and amazing; thank you to Darts for joining us and providing many laughs; thank you to Giant One for being awesome and also letting me have an extra couple of hours with you; thank you to Gloves for letting Giant One and I join you for the last few moments with Kit and Brilliant. 


The best days of our lives will be the days we spend with those we love and will come to love, no matter how much it rains :)


Love to y'all.
More posts coming soon.
Hatter xx


Side note: Kit is getting rather good at the guitar :D She also has a lovely voice, and I wish she would sing louder so we could hear it better. Yeah, Kit, that was a big hint to SING UP CAUSE YOU SOUND LOVELY, DAMMIT!

Anywhere is better than here

Been watching PoA. I hope you never feel as Harry once did, m'dears.
If you do ever feel like that, just remember: "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

Massive catch up 2 - The school days and the better days.

September:


9th
We did eavesdropping in English language that day XD T'was muchos fun. Completely unethical, but so fun :D
I had Biology, which I would soon drop. It was fine for now though, because it was just me and two other people in the class - Justin and Bethany. We could have been really good friends, but Bethany moved schools and I lost Justin to the populars when he changed set.


12th
Fun times in Blodge with Justin and Bethany.


13th
Discovered the school printers only print black and white, and I therefore could not print a contact sheet for my Photography homework.


15th
I'd let Miss S (My english language teacher) read my poetry book, and I got it back today. Apparently she liked it :)


16th
Photography was in the Mac suite today. I HATE MACS D:


19th
Fun experiment in Psychology - The Horizon experiment :P with Nerd and t'others


21st
Filmed Nerd's RE presentation for him. This was a day or two before I dropped Blodge and joined them in RE.
Dance XD
Dinner at The House of Gloves. I believe it was pizza, which had become a special treat to me because the oven at my house was broken.


22nd
Nerd 2's birthday :D I need to get a better nickname for him really.


25th
My brother flies in to London with a team of top chefs to do a special thing at Harrods. :D


26th
Hilarious times with m'dear Rorillie. This is the day that Ladybird gained his name, so it is time to tell you the story. Basically, he was in German, and for some reason decided to rub his nipples at his teacher to piss her off. Upon discovering that one nipple was strangely hard, he checked beneath his shirt and found a ladybird on his nipple... So, upon telling us, his nipples came to be known as ladybirds, and eventually so did he XD
Ladybird and I also had some very strange conversations including one moment when he told me that his balls were standing to attention. Still trying to work out how the hell that would be possible.


28th
Decided that Ladybird likes balls.


29th
Mentoring session.
Psychology was fun :D there was an image of a milkman with a speech bubble at the bottom of a powerpoint slide, and being the awesomely insane teacher that Mrs M was, she wrote in the speech bubble: "Do you want to taste my milk?"
T'was hilarious.


30th
H's birthday <3
Lion had a VERY strange conclusion for the day this lunchtime. And neither Ladybird or I had an idea where he had got such ideas from. Seriously. T'was kind of scary. I worry for his mind ;)
Le conclusion: "My conclusion for the day is that {Hatter} has soft nipples, and {Ladybird} can't please women"
See? Utterly horrifying.
Discussed strange things with Callum and Croxon at Tresham.
Nommish cake from Hannah for her bday.
Crap afternoon.


October
1st
Northampton in the morning.
Peter Pan's bday BBQ {Emily = Peter Pan because that is her name on blogger}
T'was muchos fun XD
Doctor Who finale!


2nd
Excellent Youth Service at CTK. *Applauds Ladybird and the rest of the youth band for their awesome*
Also had fun with Rorillie (Lion, Ladybird and Unicorn btw) just after the service, when we concluded that Ladybird is a woman.
Actually did work this Sunday D:


3rd
Peter Pan's bday.
VERY weird conversations with my lovelies on the field.
Basically.
Ladybird co-owns my ahem.
I met my 'Stalker', who is awesome XD
After school, Lion went to get his trombone out and got white stuff on his back. Nuff said.


4th 
Used the spray mount in T6 (Ladybird's form room) to stick down my photography work. Received an adorable hug from Ladybird which set ofF the billions of rumours about us that would circulate FOREVER. -.-
Watched the Rugby match at school with Unicorn, Lion, Smurf and a few others. T'was quite fun. Hilarious moment with Unicorn: "Suck it up and do it like a man"
We also concluded that I own Ladybird's subconscious AND ahem. <--- See. Being decent about it ;)


6th
Interesting quote in Psych: "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."


7th
Crappy moment at Tresham when I discovered Callum still likes me like that. He kissed the top of my head which sent me into 'WARGH. DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN. BITCHING ... UGH!' mode.
Off to Dawlish today.


8th
Other brother's (A) birthday XD Spent it with him and his gf in Dawlish <3


9th
Back from Dawlish and went straight up to London to see chef brother (L. Not the L that I always talk about. He be the fairy. This L is my brotherrrr). Had a lovely, lovely time. Though I did get put off Harrods for life when he informed us of the appalling state of their kitchens.
Unfortunately missed Timmy's baptism :(
Azzy's bday today :D


11th
Got 'raped' by Ladybird. We were hugging, and he pulled me down onto a table on top of him. I felt rather violated D: ;) He did it to Gloves too, though, so I wasn't alone.
'Married' Zilla today in English Literature, as were playing two AWESOME characters from The Importance Of Being Earnest.


12th
Unicorn was exceptionally adorable today <3


13th
Brother (L) flies home to New York :S Miss him so much :'(
Dinner with father at a local pub. Surprisingly okay. I was quite blunt with him at some points, admitting that I found it hard to love him, etc. Also told him about le depressed ness and Ladybird rescuing me, among other things.


19th
Rorillie visited the bench at break <3 Fun times <3
Also fun times with them at lunch behind DT. T'was awesome. L and Unicorn were/are an adorable couple. 
Good song:

Good lyric from it:
"Like I said y'know I'm almost dead, y'know I'm almost gone...
And when the drummer drums he's gunna play my song to carry me along..."
Also, my favourite lyric:
"Let me live so when it's time to die even the reaper cries"


Played 'croquet' with Gloves at Ballet. T'was funny XD


2oth
Rorillie visited at break again <3
Lion was iffy =/ Talked to L (no idea what about now...). 
Lunch:
"Lion must hunt for his food"
1 month til I see RHCP live!!!
'Blueberry flavoured Cranberries' XD Good times with Peter Pan.


21st
*Heart tears up*
Tresham:
Chatted to Megan about life. Non-verbal convo with Emma XD Cause we are awesome like that XD
(8) "So I'll spend the night looking into your eyes...
Cause I wanna remember them, if I ever fall blind."(8) some of you will know who this makes me think of when you hear the intro to this song.

Also, Lewis Watson = Hot. and awesome. And mine XD Fun times talking about him with L :P
Radiator moment with Ladybird. He is so  freaking warm! I have officially titled him as my new radiator :D
Unicorn and Lion were iffy today :/


22nd
London XD


24th
Half term!
Dentist app -.-


25th
Car not available -.-


28th
Megan's birthday :D and party, which I couldn't get to :(
Swimming with H and Gloves XD
Sleepover at H's. Epic, epic times. <3


29th
Went straight to Wicksteed from H's to see Rorillie, and had an utterly brilliant time <3 I love them so much <3 I had the most fun I have had in a long time :) Unfortunately Lion and Unicorn had a couple of meh moments (kind of about each other) =/ Think there was also a tiny amount of flirting between Ladybird and I. We were saying goodbye and I gave him a massive hug, saying something about crushing and he said "I've got a crush on you, can't you tell?" Thing is, we were messing around, so I never know what is actually going on in his mind. It's nothing, though. He likes someone in his year and I don't really know who I like right now.


1st November
Back to school
Unicorn and L broke up =/
"Mr writer, why don't you tell it like it really is?"

"How can I love when I'm afraid to fall, but watching you stand alone, all of my doubt goes away somehow, one step closer.
I have died waiting for you, darling don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more"

2nd
"Step on my old size nines and I'll take you round"

Spoke to Smurf today. T'was okay. Kind of nice really. Decided to take it slow, see how it goes.


"I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight"

3rd
Apparently Smurf kissed Gloves... eh.

Rorillie <3
Fun lunchtime with the trio and mad Harry XD <3
Love the music gang <3 <3


5th
Fireworks at Wicksteed.
Went with Rorillie, and had a fantastic time. Unicorn gained her nickname, and Ladybird had an inspiring moment, which led to the 'insignificant message to you' on the side of this blog.
Arrived, had fun chatting, hugging and generally being awesome. Gave Unicorn candy floss, and she went utterly insane. "*Spin!* Unicorn" XD So we had some awesome times. Fireworks started. Unicorn crashed quite badly =/ especially after seeing Ninja, whom she was not quite over. But she had Lion on one side and me on the other, so she was well looked after. When I had a downer, I had Unicorn one side and Ladybird the other, so I was pretty safe :) After he had comforted me slightly, I thanked Ladybird for caring, and that is when he said "If I don't care, who will" and then explained what he meant cause he realised it sounded kind of offensive at first XD He was amazing that night. They all were. I shall love them forever.
Think I got a bit pissed off at Ninja at the end, but we all left and remained awesome :D


6th
Church - Youth Service - AWESOME-NESS <3 <3


7th
School again.
Unicorn + Lion = meh =/
I felt a bit meh, but Ladybird helped, so it was fine :) He does have an extraordinary ability to wipe all signs of a frown from my face and keep me smiling for hours. They all do. <3
One quotey thing from today: "Overblowing"


8th
Walked back to BS from Tresham with Croxon XD T'was hilarious.
Slight weirdness with an old friend...
Lion was =/
Chatted to Unicorn and Heather about prom, 'the guy', etc.
Started to organise a girly night for us three :D


10th
Feeling crap about Smurf and Gloves.


11th
Frustrating moment when HP 7.2 is out on DVD in America first -.-
Did a good deed on my way back from Tresham :) An old man had fallen over and hit his head in his doorway, so a guy from BS and I helped him up and made sure he was okay and everything. Felt proud of myself :)
Hilarious lunchtime in the music room with Rorillie and Mad Harry :D

Mad Harry: "My bell-end fell off again! D:"
So much fun.
Definitely one of the better days.


Bench gang went to Gloves's to bake brownies. That was fun, and crap simultaneously, because of Gloves and Smurf.
Watched a funny movie though - "Friends with benefits" At least I think it was that time.
Hugged Max's six pack. That was odd XD
Slept terribly.


12th
Showered at Gloves's. Hung around as people left. At one point Smurf and I were left alone upstairs for ages, and... well. Stuff happened, shall we say. We went further than we had when we were going out, which is odd. But it was so nice to be with him again. We talked a little. But yeah. It was odd. And it made everything more confusing than it had been before.
Went home and walked my dog.


13th
Wanted to go to church but couldn't.
Tried to bake something and burnt myself.
Walked my dog.


14th
"You're insecure, don't know what for, you're turning heads when you walk through the door."
"Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you
You don't know you're beautiful"

Car in garage.


"Decisions, decisions..." <-- Quote from Twilight: Eclipse which fit my thought process exactly today.


"Step on my old size nines and I'll take you round" Again this song was in my head!!


15th
Spoke to Rorillie and L about what had happened between me and Smurf over the weekend...
Town with Heather was muchos fun :D
I am going to make her a model rocketship as a tribute to AVPM for Christmas.
AVPM:

 16th
Had to clear out the back bedroom today -.-
Helped out in Year 10 English... O.o Didn't really enjoy it though =/
Dance XD Stuart has quit D': Shall miss my utterly insane red-haired friend muchly!!
Wrapped Zilla's christmas present :D
Today's quote:
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"


17th
Brother (A) and his gf here!!! <3 <3
Watched an excellent movie: Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium and my planner is now filled with masses of quotes
"Are you dying?"
"Lightbulbs die, my dear, I will depart."


"Your life is an occasion. Rise to it."


18th
Breaking Dawn part 1 out. Saw it with the family :) T'was quite good. Book was better.
Callum hug... =/
Jordan... <3?
Tresham does Children In Need brilliantly!
I saw two guys in banana suits, Azzy wore a tiger suit and Megan wore a cow suit XD
While walking back from Tresham, Croxon and I decided that he was my gay bezzie there :D


19th
Watched a fantastic film called V for Vendetta. SO MUCH AWESOME RIGHT THERE.
"'Is everything a joke to you?'
'Only the things that matter'" 


20th
RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS CONCERT!!!!
One of the most amazing experiences of my life :D T'was utterly, utterly fantastic. They played several of my favourite songs :D
It was quite funny at one point: Some of the audience stood up at the first song, more at Dani California, and the rest of us jumped out of our seats at Can't Stop :D Couldn't help thinking of Ladybird, who plays that to me frequently.
It was an amazing experience to hear the background music to my childhood played right in front of me by that exceptional band. I absolutely loved it, and it is officially one of the best nights of my life.


21st
Brother and his gf went off to Greece :(
"Crush on you" deja vu moment =/
NAAAATHAN's birthday XD


22nd
Unicorn and Giant One were ill :(


23rd
Lunch with le Lion et le Ladybird, though mostly the Ladybird.
AWESOME time helping out in year 10 RE - I was helping Mr B with Ladybird's set, which also included the insanely tall year 10. Quality banter :D
I was asked to sit with the two biggest troublemakers, and it was so much fun! I actually got them to work as well, which Mr B congratulated me for :D
The class got me to do the sheet they were doing as well, and the troublesome two doodled all over mine, with hilarious results. Still, I think they actually learnt something that time :)


Hid in a shelf in my free. That was entertaining.


Had Progress Review evening at BS, which went really well. My English teachers said I was flawless!!!!!! <3


24th
Didn't bother going to Tresham progress review.
Fun times at lunch with Ladybird and Lion. Kit-Kats and sausages were the theme I believe XD So hilarious :D
Watched Nowhere Boy, which is now one of my all time favourite films <3


25th
Tresham was hilarious. We were joking about nicknames, and so madness naturally ensued, 'Jennifer', 'Shan', 'BOW'.
Lunch in music with Lion and Ladybird <3 So awesome. Guitar stuffles XD Think Ladybird hugged me or trapped me with his legs again.
Ladybird also found out about my self-harming long ago.
Meant to ask Smurf if he wanted to go on a date on the 28th, but didn't because we realised we don't know how to talk to each other any more. Don't really know what to do...


26th
Sleepover with Unicorn and Heather XD Epic times <3 Muchos Sister-ness <3 And awesome mad dancing to Christina Perri <3


27th
Church with Lion and Ladybird :D <3


28th
BLEH BLEH BLEH.
Ladybird greeted me by saying that he has a furry scrotum. Which was... lovely to hear.
Kit-Kat chunky XD ;) Lion will know what I'm on about :P
Decided Nerd is in love with his mother (phallic personality type) after a hilarious Psych lesson.


29th
Felt weak and shaky and my vision kept flickering =/
Sat at Ladybird's feet in music and hid from the world.


30th
Teacher's strike, only 6th form and year 11s in. I didn't go cause I felt ill.


"Just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist"


1st December
Massive headache -.-
Managed to lose my dark blue pen again -.-


2nd
Brother (A) and his gf here again :D
Incidents gig tonight!!! XD <3 Mad Harry is le drummer XD Check them out: Incidents facebook page
T'was so much fun. I went with Rorillie and had an absolutely fantastic time! Muchos raving, lots of lovely hugs and stuff from Ladybird, though he kept picking me up -.-
Also saw Harry from my old form :D So good to see him and his dirty white shoes XD
Had a lovely time <3


3rd
Missed Harry's gig with his band (Blood-Visions) :(
B-V facebook

4th
Oxford O.o
Smurf... =/


5th
Fun lunchtime. Ladybird was sitting in the music practise room jamming with Alex, who was drumming in the main music room... SO DAMN LOUD. Can't believe we didn't get kicked out!
Nephew fell over... a lot XD T'was quite funny :P


6th
Ear implosions from guitar-ness in music XD
Ladybird hugged me against a wall, which we then classed as 'rape'.


7th
Year 10 RE <3 <3


8th
Played a prank on Mrs M in Psych XD During a break in the lesson, the whole class hid in her office cupboard, so when she came back in we had all disappeared. She found us eventually, and thought it was brilliant cause she is awesome like that. Apparently someone also turned all her folders round so she had no idea which one was which XD
Timed RE essay -.-
Fun times with Nerd though
"Fair knight, how wath thy journey?
T'was long and hard!
Doth what she hath said!"
lol XD


9th
Off ill :/


10th
Brother and his gf went home to Cornwall :(


12th
Missed Psych mock cause I was off ill 


13th
Late getting into college again...


14th
Year 10 English =/
Can't hear out of my ear properly D:


15th
Can't hear properly again D:
Meal with Dad again :S Missed school concert for him -.- Ah well. Next time.
Baked presents for people, and bought previously promised pens for Ben, the stupidly tall year 10.


16th
School out!


Sunday 18th
Carol Service led by the youth <3 T'was fantastic. I love le church people :D <3


19th
Woke myself up with Foo Fighters :D <3
Received a lovely festive postcard from Kit XD <3


20th
Unicorn was down so Ladybird and I stepped in to look after her
Decided that if I coughed any more I might have broken a rib. Father then made a terrible joke about having a spare one.


21st
This video brightened my day so damn much:

John Barrowman: Well it's not the first time a man has sprinkled all over me.
~
John Barrowman: I'll show you the way of the force ;)
Jason Derulo: I do not want to see the force!
~
So Never Mind the Buzzcocks was... interesting... ;)

Awesome quote:

Between two worlds life hovers like a star, 'Twixt night and morn, upon the horizon's verge. How little do we know that which we are! How less what we may be!
~ Lord Byron, Don Juan

22nd
Physiotherapy appointment.
Visited Simba and his family <3 Spent 6 hours enduring his bad jokes and camp dancing <3


24th
Watched Horton hears a Who XD
"A person is a person, no matter how small"
HA. TOLD YOU.
Also watched Hairspray XD


25th
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well. Happy Holidays.
Spent Christmas at home with mother dear because we had no car. It was lovely <3
Status: "Lazing around with a glass of cider and my new guitar (Thanks Dad :D) while listening to The Red Hot Chilli Peppers on the speakers Will got me. Thank you for my lovely prezzies everyone."

This post finishes off the catch up :)


Damn that took ages.
But there we are. All fancy and up to date XD
Hatter xx