Proud :')

No one will ever understand how proud and overwhelmed I feel right now. Well, Em might.
Best evening :')


Um. Anyway. I should probably tell y'all about the past few days.
Saturday.
BEARDY WAS HERE. Like, here. It took me several hours to get over that fact. So, um. Met Em in town and bought sweets while we waited for Beardy to arrive. Beardy arrived and I was very  hyper. I blame Em. I also feel sorry for Beardy, because I forgot to pretend to be normal, and he saw exactly how crazy I can be :/ Em left us and we walked to Lark In The Park (more difficult than it sounds given mine and Beardy's map skills...). Lark was fantastic. Introduced Beardy to some people, went crazy with said people. Basically spent the day listening to the music performances, teasing Beardy, cuddling Beardy, dancing madly with the girls, eating bon bons, mocking Beardy for his hot dog eating attempts. Just.... awesome. An excellent day :') <3


Sunday
Did nothing.
Then went to church and had a hilarious time with Ladybird and the lovely Bethany :')
Went to Roots group afterwards because Toby asked me too, and we just watched the football... XD


Monday.
Another chaotic day of nothing.


Tuesday.
Went into school to help with the induction for the new year 12s. Spent aaaaaaaaaaages chatting to m'dear Zilla, which was lovely <3 Also saw Em. Walked to Glebe with Em and Miranda after school, then saw Ladybird and his sister and had a .... delightful... chat with them. Went to see my group's photography exhibition with mum. Didn't go to dance. Arranged to go to the Giant One's on Thursday :)


Wednesday.
Woke up nice and late XD
Walked my dog and ended up having to wash her in the brook because she got something manky all over herself -_-
Met Em and Heather in town, which was very  entertaining :') Bought Despicable Me so that I can force Em and Beardy to watch it. Nommed chips in Morrisons, came home and did chores then Em and I went to Northamptonshire Music and Performing Arts Trust: Summer Festival of Music: Here Comes The Sun. Got a tad overwhelmed, as I was only expecting to see Heather and Ladybird, and there were about 10 other people I know/adore there! Also, Heather was absolutely phenomenal, and I could not be more proud of my 'little sister'. I actually almost cried. Just... so proud of all of them, especially Heather, Will and Bethany.


It was an absolutely fantastic evening, and I am still feeling a bit overwhelmed several hours later...
<3

The world was on fire

Go listen to the song in the last post.
It's awesome.


So... my life. 


Quite a lot has happened.
But I can't be bothered to mention any of it.
Other than to say I spent most of the week either - weighed down with uni shiz, chatting to awesome people at the bench, or having a good time and relaxing in music with t'boys.

Beardy is here tomorrow :3
Quite excited :D
Like... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH kind of excited.
Should be fun XD


On Thursday I saw the cinema showing of the recent Frankenstein play starring Benedict Cumberbatch as Frankenstein and Johnny Lee Miller as the Creature. It was almost flawless.


The set was just… beautifully created and structured.
The script was incredibly well written.
The entire thing was perfectly directed by Danny Boyle.
And the cast were simply captivating.
Literally could not tear my eyes away from it all.
So bluddy fantastic.
I just-
>.< I love theatre far too much.
I need to go to the theatre more.

The play also reminded me why I love English lit so much. And theatre. And that as soon as I am earning enough for it to be affordable, I am going to go to the theatre at least once a month.Note - Kat is awesome. And I miss her. And she should get her sexy butt over here sometime. And then we shall see Frankenstein together <3


Spent today at Birmingham University Open Day. Which was... interesting. Went to an English with Creative Writing talk, which was fantastic. The teacher was ridiculously fun and had a very similar sense of humour to me. And his voice is basically the same as my Michael Mcintyre impression. Swear I am destined for the course as well. Tis awesome. Only issue - I'm planning to take Psychology at Uni... :/ 
Psychology talk was good too, that lecturer also shared my sense of humour. Why do I like people with quick, dry humour so much???? Ah well. Course looks interesting too.
English on it's own was the most boring talk EVER. Woman could not hold my interest -_- Definitely not going to Birmingham for English.
Library is MASSIVE though... :3
Overall a pretty cool day and university :)


Managed to miss Harry's gig tonight, cause I'm an idiot -_-
It was his new band as well :/
Now I'm sad :(


Anywho... STUFF.


Pretty content with life right now. Good days make up for the bad and the sun keeps pushing through the clouds :)


Thank y'all for the page views :')


Go listen to some happy songs :)

James Vincent McMorrow - Wicked Game

Mixed messages.

Fuck off.
Tired of trying and getting nowhere.
I give up.


What is it with people and honesty?


Just tell the damn truth and move on with your life!!!


You angry at someone?
Tell them.
Makes things a lot easier.
You happy about something someone's doing?
Tell them
Also makes things easier.


On a happier note:
BEN IS VISITING NEXT SATURDAY.
*EXCITEMENT*.

Generosity

My 'Auntie S' (as I shall call her on here) is a truly astonishing woman.
I love her completely.
And she loves me completely, despite having no real obligation to me whatsoever. She isn't my real aunt. She is the sister of my half-brothers' dad. But still. She is Auntie S.
She is a Christian with seemingly unwavering faith.
She has an unbelievable sense of compassion and humanity.
She is a faithful wife, and a fantastic mother to two brilliant individuals.
She is kind.
She is caring.
She is honest.
She is ridiculously enthusiastic about everything.
She is incredibly fond of everyone.
She has an uncanny ability to make anyone smile.
And to make anyone feel loved, and blessed, and treasured by all.
She is incredibly selfless.
She is so sweet.
She is loyal.
I have never encountered a single one of her flaws, if she even has one. Possibly it would be that she might get herself hurt by caring too much.
She is so small and yet so unbelievably strong.
She astonishes me.
Every time I see her.


She went well out of her way to drive mum to hospital and back recently, as well as coming with me to visit and being a tower of strength and a great source of cuddles when either of us needed comfort.
We were visiting my mum in hospital, and while I had alone time with mum Auntie S was off befriending and bringing smiles to the rest of the ward.
She will always believe the best of everyone, and try her best to bring a smile to everyone.


She is always giving.
Always.


If you asked her for the world, she'd find some way to give it to you. 


And when you ask for nothing, she gives you more.


Tiny example of her ridiculous generosity:
I came home today to find an early birthday from her. A cheque for £150.
To some people, that's nothing. But to my family, and to Auntie S, that's ...well, a rather significant amount.
It's not even a mile stone birthday.
£50 would be incredibly generous
£100 would be astonishing and extravagant
£150 is so... Auntie S. But I can't accept it. She'll bless my heart and try to get me to keep it but I can't. She is so generous and so strong and the greatest gift she can give me is the chance to one day become like both her and my mother. The money is an astonishing gift, but I can't accept it. I know she'll want me to keep some, and I will so she doesn't fuss, but I certainly can't accept £150. Not from her. She's too... good. I'll ask her to buy herself a present with the rest, or send it to a charity. That is the right kind of place for money given with that much love and good-will.


I love Auntie S.
I always will.
She could give you everything you could ask for and more, and she would still want to give you more.
She is the most purely good and true person I know.
Standing between her and mum, I know I have a lot to live up to.
End of 'rant'.

I miss you.

A lot.
But it's not hard to tell that you don't miss me.

Another thing what I wrote.

“So I’ll spend my nights with a glass of Pimms
Waiting for rain to close summer in
For until the birds cease to sing
I see no hope that we may begin”

Wrote this yesterday.

No idea what it's about, or why I wrote it.

Derp.

I don't even know.

Anything at the moment actually.
Just... No idea.
Anywho.
My life over the past few days:


Monday 4th June:
Village Jubilee celebration! So damn patriotic :') Em came over, which was lovely <3 She ended up staying overnight too XD Lots of fun <3


Tuesday 5th:
Met up with Ladybird, Bethany, Matt, Young Harry and a couple of guitars <3 Spent the whole day jamming at Wicksteed, which was pretty cool. Got to admit I felt a bit out of place, but it wasn't too bad. Got a lift home with Ladybird and his Dad - scary shit! But it was nice really <3 Walked my doggy...


Wednesday 6th: 
Was meant to meet up with Gloves but she couldn't make it :/ Ended up applying for some jobs, tidying, and dying part of my hair blue. Pretty cool XD
Walked my dog for aaaaages. Danced up a hill to Pencil Full Of Lead by Paolo Nutini, but got caught in a thunderstorm 1 and a half miles from home! Ah well. It was still pretty fun. Also met a pretty dog, called Shea. She looked like this, just damper: 

Beaut :') <3


Thursday 7th: 
Day with the Fairy!!!!
M'lovely bezzie came over for the day.
We jammed on guitars for a couple of hours. Then took the dog out and DIDN'T get caught in a thunderstorm XD Got the bus into town IN THE RAIN DAMMIT. Chatted for ages in Costa :') About everything and nothing, because we can. Went to music shops and all sorts. Mum picked us up and we spent more time guitaring. We cooked dinner together, which was pretty funny XD I made him wear an apron :') Dinner was delicious, as was pudding, and we all curled up on the sofa at the end of the evening to watch Sherlock <3 Unfortunately Fairy left before the end D: But ah well, we still had a great day :')
Spent the rest of the evening watching a thing about Prince William and trying to organise a gathering with Rorillie.


Friday 8th:
Unfortunately, neither Lion or Unicorn could make it, so it was just going to be New Guy (who actually isn't very new any more, but hey), Ladybird and I. New Guy was dropped off at mine, and we arrived at Wicksteed at the same time as Ladybird :') Muchos jamming and hugging and setting fire to matches before we decided to walk to town because New Guy was hungry. Um. Y'know what? I 'tumbled' about Friday earlier, and I can't remember any more than I could then, so I shall copy and past what I put on the tumblr post here...

• COLDNESS. New Guy setting fire to random shit XD
• Iris <3
• Meandering round town.
• Getting food and hiding. Creepy mods.
• Loitering. Searching for the car park entrance.
• HMV. Chatting to Ladybird while waiting for New Guy.
• Getting intimidated by them standing over me.
• The never ending stairs.
• Car park roof XD Walking down to the third level past the no pedestrian sign.
• Singing Iris with Ladybird (and his cheeky grin on the awesome bit) <3
• Ladybird breaking a string.
• Meandering back to the Newlands centre while playing guitar.
• Waiting outside KFC for New Guy. Strange children making faces at us - “They are probably jealous because they think I am going out with Jenny. I mean, who wouldn't be.”
• Intersales music was pretty cool, as usual.
• Sitting and singing Iris outside the little white church. That look :’) 
• THE SHOP. Sweeties :’) The boys being cute.

Me: Ladybird! What colour bon-bon would you like?
Ladybird: *Pause* Blue, to match your eyes.

• Walking back to Wicksteed in the rain :’) CUTE BANTER. Love my boys. Even though one of them is a stalker. Still. They are lovely :’) “I DON’T WANT TO ‘TEST MY SKILLS’ WITH YOU LADYBIRD.”
• Feeding people bon-bons
• Randomly texting Emma and dragging her bootiful face out with us.
• Cute-ness.
• Crazy laughter :’)
• Cookies and bon-bons.
• Singing loudly and ridiculously with the three of them down London Road <3
• Em’s sister (who believes we are together) driving past at the exact moment when the boys ran off and it looked like we were on our own together…
• Watching the boys fail at hiding from us. They dragged a guitar case up one of the Wicksteed play area things. Seriously. So Em and I just messed around on the tyre swing BECAUSE WE DON’T NEED MEN ;)
• Zip wire :’) Em being terrified. Me being terrified. Me being more terrified when Ladybird jumped on me so that we zip-wired together :’) More zip wire antics. Panties. Spanking. Being picked up -_-
• That… thing. Which Em took ages to figure out. And Ladybird did… acrobatics through.
• PUDDLES.
• Swings. 
• HELICOPTER. 
• See-saw antics. Ladybird carrying my bag like a girl :’)
• ‘Rape’.
• Craziness.
• Ladybird and I falling off the swing because we are crazy fools. Twice.
• Em and I being DARNED AWESOME. Like, all the time XD
• Em and I on the swings doing adrenaline XD
• MO-FO :’) “Tuck your tail in little duck” :’)
• Mucking about like twits. 
• Chasing each other. More ‘spanking’.
• CUTE SHIZ.
• Talk with Em <3
• Ladybird saving me the last cookie :’)
• More talking with my Em <3
• Falling off the swing with Ladybird. Again.
• ‘Penetration’.
• Straddling.
• Em ‘having sky sex’.
• The boys making Misfits jokes.
• Back to the tyre XD Boys carrying all the shiz XD
• General awesomeness.
• Ladybird singing Iris to Em and I <3 Em paying him 3 pence :’) <3
• Checking on Ladybird and New Guy.
• Windswept photo with Em.
• Prancing about like fools again.
• “Me: Are you ever alright? Ladybird: No” :’( At least he promised he’ll talk to me.
• “Ladybird: Em, would you join Lion and I visiting Jenny at uni in Cornwall? Em: I would walk to Cornwall for Jen.” I love them :’)
• EVERYONE LEAVING AT ONCE D:
• “Two can play at that game”
• Talking to New Guy for aaaaaages.
• The cute small child.
• More talking to New Guy. 
• Random truck hauling three tanks casually rolling into Wicksteed… O.o
• Home!
• Walking B with my beautiful mama.
• Watching Down With Love and then Men In Black with mum :’) <3 <3

So yeah. T'was one of those perfect days, despite the rain :')

Saturday:

Woke up and couldn't be bothered to move so sat doing photography work in bed. Prepared for Em's arrival. Em arrived, we chatted like crazy fools and listened to/watched random shiz. We took the dog on the three mile walk and encountered some strange new friends, which included a herd of sheep. Came back and continued to listen to/watch stuff, including some AVPM, and some Misfits. DURDURDURDURDUR. WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE? I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME STOMP. That is all I have to say. Em left, and I haven't really done... anything productive since. Watched a movie with mama. Started to watch one of my favourite rom coms - The Holiday - when I got a message from Em, a message from Miranda, and a phone call from Beardy. *All falls to shit*

So Em, my gorgeous 'little sister' may be moving to Canada before September, so I'll have to say goodbye a year earlier D: Just... No. I really don't want her to go. I don't know how I'll survive without her.

Message from Miranda was about Unicorn, and just made me sad.

Phone call from Beardy... what can I say. Heart breaking? Maybe? Certainly difficult. But I think we have kind of figured something out, and I think all is good in the end.

Sat crying and talking to mum for an hour.

Came downstairs, had the final call with Beardy, and came here to blog. Now listening to this guy: http://www.seantaylorsongs.com/music.php and about to get ready for bed.

So now you know about the last week.

Hope you've had a good one.

Much love.

Goodnight.

Hatter.

xxx

Changing Times

So much has changed in these last few days, I don't really know where to start.
I've lost things, regained things, found new things. Mum went into hospital for an operation and it was like I was 8 all again. I managed to get stressed so much I was too exhausted to move. I saw part of my childhood come to life when I visited HP Studios. I fought with Ladybird and thought I had lost him. And now he's apologising to me. I made a decision, which I will probably soon regret. I have watched Notting Hill for the first time. It was cute :')
I don't know.
So many experiences. So much has changed. And some of that has reversed again. But some has stayed changed. I'm not sure if it's in a good way. 


Songs:
Ghosts that we knew - Mumford and Sons
Wherever you will go - The Calling
Liar - Mumford and Sons
Small Bump - Ed Sheeran
Strong - Robbie Williams
Everybody's changing - Keane
Mr Bright Eyes - Rebecca Ferguson
Mr Blue Sky - ELO
Charlie Brown - Coldplay
Pencil full of lead - Paolo Nutini