Seriously.
It's fun.
Also, check this out. Some dude with a moustache says some cool shiz.
Monday, 16 April 2012
Flipping heck! Calm down and party!
Okay, so apparently my last post - 'Grey scale' - offended a couple of people.
Firstly, sorry to those people. That was not my intention. I was just trying to say that people seem to let themselves get so weighed down here, they forget what the world should be about. Happiness.
To me, that kinda sucks the colour out of things. I'm not saying you, as an individual, are colourless. Of course you aren't! You are beautiful, inspiring and unique! Just... everyone seems to forget that! All I was trying to say is that I wish people would just find more joy in the world - in the little things! (Also... I'm not necessarily talking about people at school. The world is bigger than that. I just meant people in general. Especially since I wrote the post before I went back to school...)
Yes, there are blips we have to get past, but when (as Beardy said) the world 'throws you a diamond', don't ignore it! See it, appreciate it, love it. I know it can be difficult, but if you get through that, beautiful stuff is on the other side.
So I'm sorry if I offended you.
Just badly phrased honest thought patterns.
Keep calm and party :)
It's the best way to live.
I love you, the world loves you, so love yourself.
You're awesome.
Show it :)
Firstly, sorry to those people. That was not my intention. I was just trying to say that people seem to let themselves get so weighed down here, they forget what the world should be about. Happiness.
To me, that kinda sucks the colour out of things. I'm not saying you, as an individual, are colourless. Of course you aren't! You are beautiful, inspiring and unique! Just... everyone seems to forget that! All I was trying to say is that I wish people would just find more joy in the world - in the little things! (Also... I'm not necessarily talking about people at school. The world is bigger than that. I just meant people in general. Especially since I wrote the post before I went back to school...)
Yes, there are blips we have to get past, but when (as Beardy said) the world 'throws you a diamond', don't ignore it! See it, appreciate it, love it. I know it can be difficult, but if you get through that, beautiful stuff is on the other side.
So I'm sorry if I offended you.
Just badly phrased honest thought patterns.
Keep calm and party :)
It's the best way to live.
I love you, the world loves you, so love yourself.
You're awesome.
Show it :)
Grey-scale.
So I spent a week with people that helped me re-discover myself, and the beauty in the world. They made me want to stand up and shout "WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WRONG? THE WORLD IS AMAZING!!". But part of the brilliance of it was that I didn't need to stand and shout - these people already knew! But now I'm home, and the world is slowly slipping into grey-scale. I feel like I'm surrounded by people who have never known the colourful, beautiful, exciting and intriguing gifts the world and it's people have to offer. Everyone is so tense and snappy, and it all just makes me want to remind them that (in the words of Simon Amstell) 'death is coming' so why be unhappy and fight? And if you simply can't make friendship work with someone, part with respect and move on. Life's too short to be petty.
I know I've shared this song with y'all before, but I think some people really need to listen to the lyrics:
"Sun is shinin' in the sky
There ain't a cloud in sight
It's stopped rainin' ev'rybody's in a play
And don't you know
It's a beautiful new day hey, hey
Runnin' down the avenue
See how the sun shines brightly in the city
On the streets where once was pity
Mister blue sky is living here today hey, hey
Mister blue sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong?
Hey you with the pretty face
Welcome to the human race
A celebration, mister blue sky's up there waitin'
And today is the day we've waited for
Hey there mister blue
We're so pleased to be with you
Look around see what you do
Ev'rybody smiles at you"
Plus, surely it is impossible not to dance to that???
I did.
I just started dancing around my living room like a loon, because as long as I'm having fun, what does it matter?
Thanks to Nerd for the chat about all this today.
Love to the people :)
P.s. This isn't about people at school... I wrote it before I went in.
I know I've shared this song with y'all before, but I think some people really need to listen to the lyrics:
"Sun is shinin' in the sky
There ain't a cloud in sight
It's stopped rainin' ev'rybody's in a play
And don't you know
It's a beautiful new day hey, hey
Runnin' down the avenue
See how the sun shines brightly in the city
On the streets where once was pity
Mister blue sky is living here today hey, hey
Mister blue sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong?
Hey you with the pretty face
Welcome to the human race
A celebration, mister blue sky's up there waitin'
And today is the day we've waited for
Hey there mister blue
We're so pleased to be with you
Look around see what you do
Ev'rybody smiles at you"
Plus, surely it is impossible not to dance to that???
I did.
I just started dancing around my living room like a loon, because as long as I'm having fun, what does it matter?
Thanks to Nerd for the chat about all this today.
Love to the people :)
P.s. This isn't about people at school... I wrote it before I went in.
"You can't have biscuits with your tea! Have fruit!"
At approximately 8:13am, my mother just used the above sentence to have a go at me. So, in my defence I reminded her that she told me not to eat fruit right after carbohydrates, and I had just eaten two waffles. So she told me to eat toast with peanut butter. YOU CAN'T DUNK PEANUT BUTTER TOAST IN TEA!
Besides, I'm living life as recent events taught me to, including Suffolk. I had biscuits with my morning tea at Kat's, so I shall have biscuits with my morning tea here.
However, this episode did leave me to wonder where the convention of dunking biscuits in tea comes from.
Unfortunately, I am too lazy to find out.
^ This is the kind of level my mind works at this early in the morning. Be warned.
Update:
So I lifted my sorry finger and tapped on the mouse to produce a new tab in Chrome, which I then used to research the dunking of biscuits.
Have some useful websites:
wikipedia
Answers.com (scroll down for the interesting bit).
After approximately 10 minutes of research, I can conclude nothing more about the entire tea dunking affair, than the fact that we do it.
My favourite tea-dunking quote is by far the following, which is from 'The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel'.
"Evelyn: we dunk biscuits into it.
Sunaina's Brother: Dunk?
Evelyn: Means lowering the biscuit into the tea and letting it soak in there and trying to calculate the exact moment before the biscuit dissolves, when you whip it up into your mouth and enjoy the blissful union of biscuits and tea combined. It's more relaxing than it sounds."
Besides, I'm living life as recent events taught me to, including Suffolk. I had biscuits with my morning tea at Kat's, so I shall have biscuits with my morning tea here.
However, this episode did leave me to wonder where the convention of dunking biscuits in tea comes from.
Unfortunately, I am too lazy to find out.
^ This is the kind of level my mind works at this early in the morning. Be warned.
Update:
So I lifted my sorry finger and tapped on the mouse to produce a new tab in Chrome, which I then used to research the dunking of biscuits.
Have some useful websites:
wikipedia
Answers.com (scroll down for the interesting bit).
After approximately 10 minutes of research, I can conclude nothing more about the entire tea dunking affair, than the fact that we do it.
My favourite tea-dunking quote is by far the following, which is from 'The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel'.
"Evelyn: we dunk biscuits into it.
Sunaina's Brother: Dunk?
Evelyn: Means lowering the biscuit into the tea and letting it soak in there and trying to calculate the exact moment before the biscuit dissolves, when you whip it up into your mouth and enjoy the blissful union of biscuits and tea combined. It's more relaxing than it sounds."
Sunday, 15 April 2012
Straight-talking poetry.
A small epiphany I had whilst walking my dog:
"While the past is full of memories
Rose tinted and back-lit
If you don’t stop looking behind you
You may just step in dog shit."
"While the past is full of memories
Rose tinted and back-lit
If you don’t stop looking behind you
You may just step in dog shit."
Judgemental.
"I was just saying 'Why can't you be less judgemental, and more like me?' .... Which is judgemental."
Cause Simon Amstell is a clever babe.
Cause Simon Amstell is a clever babe.
Funny people
This guy is funny. I think he's adorable.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/b018nq52/
Watch it before it goes unavailable tomorrow night.
And a funny man that should remind Kat of some good memories...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMMHUzm22oE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs-tl6GBOBo
Do you find that there are some people who just have to appear to make you smile? Who have an innate ability to make you laugh when nothing else can?
I know people like this, who can make me smile just by looking at me, or smiling, or appearing on my facebook chat with their own special version of hello.
While that should always be a good thing, I find that there is one major issue with knowing people like this. The problem for me is that these people are often the ones I become very attached to, and so when we have to part it pains me more than it should. What's worse lately, is that these people are out of my reach. One is on holiday, two live far away, and one is here but feels... different. And I am going to have to leave possibly all of them next summer, when I leave school and step into the big scary world that is 'adulthood'. Maybe, just maybe, I might get to spend part of my adult life with one of them, but given the way the world works I seriously doubt that.
So anyway.
This was meant to be a happy post.
BE HAPPY.
ESPECIALLY WITH OTHER HAPPY PEOPLE.
IT'S FUN.
I'm going to stop thinking of the past or the future, and live and enjoy the present instead, because that is where Simon Amstell says true joy exists. Maybe you should try it too :)
Quotes of the day:
"My type is me, but better, which I think is ok. I just have to find someone who wants himself, but much much worse."
"You might say 'He walked into the shop at the same time as you with his own legs'. No, I put him in the shop with my God mind."
"Here I'll give you my phone number. When you worry, call me and I'll make you happy."
"We stole countries with the cunning use of flags..."
http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/b018nq52/
Watch it before it goes unavailable tomorrow night.
And a funny man that should remind Kat of some good memories...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMMHUzm22oE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs-tl6GBOBo
Do you find that there are some people who just have to appear to make you smile? Who have an innate ability to make you laugh when nothing else can?
I know people like this, who can make me smile just by looking at me, or smiling, or appearing on my facebook chat with their own special version of hello.
While that should always be a good thing, I find that there is one major issue with knowing people like this. The problem for me is that these people are often the ones I become very attached to, and so when we have to part it pains me more than it should. What's worse lately, is that these people are out of my reach. One is on holiday, two live far away, and one is here but feels... different. And I am going to have to leave possibly all of them next summer, when I leave school and step into the big scary world that is 'adulthood'. Maybe, just maybe, I might get to spend part of my adult life with one of them, but given the way the world works I seriously doubt that.
So anyway.
This was meant to be a happy post.
BE HAPPY.
ESPECIALLY WITH OTHER HAPPY PEOPLE.
IT'S FUN.
I'm going to stop thinking of the past or the future, and live and enjoy the present instead, because that is where Simon Amstell says true joy exists. Maybe you should try it too :)
Quotes of the day:
"My type is me, but better, which I think is ok. I just have to find someone who wants himself, but much much worse."
"You might say 'He walked into the shop at the same time as you with his own legs'. No, I put him in the shop with my God mind."
"Here I'll give you my phone number. When you worry, call me and I'll make you happy."
"We stole countries with the cunning use of flags..."
Saturday, 14 April 2012
To the Suffolk gang. Or mob. Or something similar.
Hey.
I wrote you a song.
It's not good, and it's still pretty much a draft, but it says what I don't know how to any other way. Decided to post it because of Beardy. So blame him.
The world is different without you
The colours, they fade
The further I am from you
The quicker the world turns grey
Colours disappear
As my train rolls away
I just want to tell you
Thank you for the last six days
In your world there’s always a rainbow
In mine it was just black and white
Until you taught me to see
Then everything felt right
[Chorus]:
The world is different without you
The colours, they fade
The further I am from you
The quicker the world turns grey
It’s not goodbye forever
When the colour fades
That’s when I’ll come back to you
I hope you all remember my name
Thank you for sharing the rainbow
I’ll remember it wherever I go
Though colours can’t always be seen
They’re there, with me I know
[Chorus]
You taught me to be me
And to love with all my soul
So in my mind and in my heart
There’s always a you-shaped hole
When the darkness haunts me
Even if I can’t stay
I’ll come back and visit you
When all colour fades
I wrote you a song.
It's not good, and it's still pretty much a draft, but it says what I don't know how to any other way. Decided to post it because of Beardy. So blame him.
The world is different without you
The colours, they fade
The further I am from you
The quicker the world turns grey
Colours disappear
As my train rolls away
I just want to tell you
Thank you for the last six days
In your world there’s always a rainbow
In mine it was just black and white
Until you taught me to see
Then everything felt right
[Chorus]:
The world is different without you
The colours, they fade
The further I am from you
The quicker the world turns grey
It’s not goodbye forever
When the colour fades
That’s when I’ll come back to you
I hope you all remember my name
Thank you for sharing the rainbow
I’ll remember it wherever I go
Though colours can’t always be seen
They’re there, with me I know
[Chorus]
You taught me to be me
And to love with all my soul
So in my mind and in my heart
There’s always a you-shaped hole
When the darkness haunts me
Even if I can’t stay
I’ll come back and visit you
When all colour fades
Dark tunnels.
On Friday, I met up with Ladybird, Unicorn and New Guy at Wicksteed.
We were making our way to the old train, and while Unicorn and New Guy took the sensible path, Ladybird and I randomly walked through the no entry tunnel. We were just messing around and chatting, when he moved and stopped in front of me, pulling me into a really lovely hug with his face against my neck.
That moment inspired this poem (still only a draft), basically pulling together several stray lines that had been floating around my mind for a while now.
"In the darkest of tunnels
You turned and held me
Your soul the brightest light
By which I'll always see.
When I fell to the ground
Then you held me too
Until I could lift my feet
And stand up next to you.
So though the darkness crowds
I know it has not won.
The cold can never last
Because with you, comes with sun."
I might turn it into a song one day.
Who knows.
Anyway.
Poem.
Done.
Laters.
We were making our way to the old train, and while Unicorn and New Guy took the sensible path, Ladybird and I randomly walked through the no entry tunnel. We were just messing around and chatting, when he moved and stopped in front of me, pulling me into a really lovely hug with his face against my neck.
That moment inspired this poem (still only a draft), basically pulling together several stray lines that had been floating around my mind for a while now.
"In the darkest of tunnels
You turned and held me
Your soul the brightest light
By which I'll always see.
When I fell to the ground
Then you held me too
Until I could lift my feet
And stand up next to you.
So though the darkness crowds
I know it has not won.
The cold can never last
Because with you, comes with sun."
I might turn it into a song one day.
Who knows.
Anyway.
Poem.
Done.
Laters.
Letters.
Suffolk week update is on the way, but I felt the need to do this as people are doing it a lot on Tumblr.
I am going to write letters to some people on here, though I will probably never show them. Just an interesting exercise really.
First few here:
Lachs.
Again, you are first on a list for me. This time you were just the first name to pop into my head, but normally you are the first in a small list of people I know I can turn to when I'm lost. I can talk to you about anything, and you never let me fall. Thank you.
We only really became friends part way into year 10, when I started spending more time with the bench gang. And yet... in the last few years, you have supported me through so much. And I hope I have been there for you as much as you have for me.
You were there when I had no one else to turn to, and I'm pretty sure that if my major fall had happened at a time when you were around, I wouldn't have fallen as far. But I did fall... And after Will had set me back on my feet again, you were the one to keep me standing. We've fought hand in hand through whatever we both faced, through the good times and the really fucking bad, and even through our major depressions.
I could thank you forever, and in the end I probably will.
I'll admit, there have been moments when we have gotten on each others nerves, but I'm glad to say we can always talk it through and never fight.
I know I can never pay you back for everything you have done, but you know I fully intend to pay it forward.
Thank you, my amazing fairy, ginger, 'gay' bezzie, comrade, and friend.
I love you.
Jen xx
P.s. I'm sorry for what I put you through with Callum. Truly.
Cheryl
This letter feels really difficult to write. I think you will know why, if you do see it.
I adore you. Yes, we fight, but I still love you. Thank you for being there when I needed you, and I hope that you know I have tried to be there whenever you have needed me.
I'm sorry.
For everything.
Here goes.
I respect you too much to lie to you, so I'm just going to be as honest as possible and hope you understand. I wish you would just tell me. Instead of bottling up all your anger, frustration, and general feelings, even if they aren't aimed at me, I wish you would tell me. Because that way, if I have done something, I can sort it out or talk it through with you. And then we can get through it together, as friends should. I meant what I said in our massive long facebook argument. There's no point detailing it here, you know what we both said.
So, I really hope you haven't taken that badly, because I love you, and truth be told I miss you.
Jenny.
Jenni
I'm struggling to find something to say which I haven't already said a thousand times before.
I have found a song which I really want to sing to you because it honestly just makes me think of you.
Yeah... it's about a break up. But I feel like that is what has happened to us. Our friendship broke up. I'd love it if we really could be proper friends again. I know it can never be the same as before, but the way it is now just feels like we are strangers.
I miss you.
And I will still wait for the time when we can call each other sister again.
But .... I don't think I can wait forever.
Jenny.
Kat!
Oh you beautiful human being.
I'm sad to say we drifted apart when you moved away. The further you moved away, the further we drifted apart. Which sucked, cause you are awesome.
You were my first friend when I moved from Northampton to Broughton aged 8ish. THANK YOU. Seriously. That first day led to many years of amazing memories full of fun and ginger-ness. And then to last week. Oh my purple, that was one of the best weeks in my short-ish existence thus far. Honestly. Not only was it so so good to see you again, but you made it so fun, emotional, exciting, intriguing and strangely inspirational that I hope it is a week I never forget. As you so excellently said in your blog post, I "arrived with a relative grip on normality and went home with the mentalist twang characteristic of [your] group of friends, a happier perspective of life as a whole, purple hair and three slices of *cinammon cake." Not to mention the strange new addiction to tea.
That week with you made me so so happy, and I honestly feel much more comfortable being myself now than I ever have before. I hope you had as much fun as I did, Chicken Fingers.
I miss you, and I love you.
Visit soon.
Your Jen xx <3
P.s. I'm covered in BEES!!!!!
Suffolk people in general.
Thank you for the time I was allowed to spend with each and every one of you. You guys really do astound me. Thank you for welcoming me so amazingly, and for making me so comfortable and happy that you were the first group of people to meet me as myself, no pretences, no adjustments, just pure Jen. Thank you for accepting her :) I hope I never let myself forget y'all. And I hope I really did make a good first impression on all of you. Thanks for the memories :D
Rory - Thank you for what you said about me on your blog post. It was lovely, and really meant a lot <3
Ben - If you shave that beard off I may cry. *Strokes from afar* And thank you for our 'song exchange' on Tuesday :) Made me rather happy <3
Miriam - Thank you for making Kat happy :) And for just being a generally awesome and unusual person.
Sam - T'was really really good to see you again, you little alkie ;)
George - Thank you for all the cuddles!!!!!!!!!!
Right, back to all of you. (Including you, Kat). I hated hopping on that train and leaving you. You made the world so bright and colourful when I was with you, but it was almost like the colour began to seep away the closer I got to home. Luckily, I have an odd streak of purple that will - until it too fades - serve as a reminder of the colours and general awesomeness you showed me.
I love and miss you all.
I'll be back when the colour fades.
Jen xx
P.s. Just found myself trying to think of something vaguely negative to say so this letter seems less ... mushy. I can't think of anything, except that I miss you.
Ellie
Hey Unicorn :) First of all, thank you so much for the memories <3 You are honestly are like a little (age-wise anyway ;)) sister to me. As I have always said, you are amazing, beautiful, astonishing and inspirational to me. It sometimes feels like we are growing apart, but I guess that's okay as long as you know you will always have a big - if short - sister in me, and I always want to be there for you. I hope you know you can tell me absolutely anything.
I'm sorry for all the guy stuff that has happened since I introduced you to my friends... I really am.
I hate to see you unhappy, so I'm always here for a hug and a chat if you need one.
I'm leaving school next year, and though I don't want to leave you, I don't really know what to do. I feel like I should begin to distance myself from you - and the other 'young' ones - so that when I leave for good, it won't hurt as much. But even when I convince myself that it would be for the best, I can't bring myself to do it. So I really don't know... I love you too much to leave you just yet, which is actually kind of selfish really. It's going to be so much harder when I do leave.
Sorry.
Love you, dear.
Jen xx
Aaaaand that's all I can be bothered to do for now. More to follow.
Hatter xx
I am going to write letters to some people on here, though I will probably never show them. Just an interesting exercise really.
First few here:
Lachs.
Again, you are first on a list for me. This time you were just the first name to pop into my head, but normally you are the first in a small list of people I know I can turn to when I'm lost. I can talk to you about anything, and you never let me fall. Thank you.
We only really became friends part way into year 10, when I started spending more time with the bench gang. And yet... in the last few years, you have supported me through so much. And I hope I have been there for you as much as you have for me.
You were there when I had no one else to turn to, and I'm pretty sure that if my major fall had happened at a time when you were around, I wouldn't have fallen as far. But I did fall... And after Will had set me back on my feet again, you were the one to keep me standing. We've fought hand in hand through whatever we both faced, through the good times and the really fucking bad, and even through our major depressions.
I could thank you forever, and in the end I probably will.
I'll admit, there have been moments when we have gotten on each others nerves, but I'm glad to say we can always talk it through and never fight.
I know I can never pay you back for everything you have done, but you know I fully intend to pay it forward.
Thank you, my amazing fairy, ginger, 'gay' bezzie, comrade, and friend.
I love you.
Jen xx
P.s. I'm sorry for what I put you through with Callum. Truly.
Cheryl
This letter feels really difficult to write. I think you will know why, if you do see it.
I adore you. Yes, we fight, but I still love you. Thank you for being there when I needed you, and I hope that you know I have tried to be there whenever you have needed me.
I'm sorry.
For everything.
Here goes.
I respect you too much to lie to you, so I'm just going to be as honest as possible and hope you understand. I wish you would just tell me. Instead of bottling up all your anger, frustration, and general feelings, even if they aren't aimed at me, I wish you would tell me. Because that way, if I have done something, I can sort it out or talk it through with you. And then we can get through it together, as friends should. I meant what I said in our massive long facebook argument. There's no point detailing it here, you know what we both said.
So, I really hope you haven't taken that badly, because I love you, and truth be told I miss you.
Jenny.
Jenni
I'm struggling to find something to say which I haven't already said a thousand times before.
I have found a song which I really want to sing to you because it honestly just makes me think of you.
Yeah... it's about a break up. But I feel like that is what has happened to us. Our friendship broke up. I'd love it if we really could be proper friends again. I know it can never be the same as before, but the way it is now just feels like we are strangers.
I miss you.
And I will still wait for the time when we can call each other sister again.
But .... I don't think I can wait forever.
Jenny.
Kat!
Oh you beautiful human being.
I'm sad to say we drifted apart when you moved away. The further you moved away, the further we drifted apart. Which sucked, cause you are awesome.
You were my first friend when I moved from Northampton to Broughton aged 8ish. THANK YOU. Seriously. That first day led to many years of amazing memories full of fun and ginger-ness. And then to last week. Oh my purple, that was one of the best weeks in my short-ish existence thus far. Honestly. Not only was it so so good to see you again, but you made it so fun, emotional, exciting, intriguing and strangely inspirational that I hope it is a week I never forget. As you so excellently said in your blog post, I "arrived with a relative grip on normality and went home with the mentalist twang characteristic of [your] group of friends, a happier perspective of life as a whole, purple hair and three slices of *cinammon cake." Not to mention the strange new addiction to tea.
That week with you made me so so happy, and I honestly feel much more comfortable being myself now than I ever have before. I hope you had as much fun as I did, Chicken Fingers.
I miss you, and I love you.
Visit soon.
Your Jen xx <3
P.s. I'm covered in BEES!!!!!
Suffolk people in general.
Thank you for the time I was allowed to spend with each and every one of you. You guys really do astound me. Thank you for welcoming me so amazingly, and for making me so comfortable and happy that you were the first group of people to meet me as myself, no pretences, no adjustments, just pure Jen. Thank you for accepting her :) I hope I never let myself forget y'all. And I hope I really did make a good first impression on all of you. Thanks for the memories :D
Rory - Thank you for what you said about me on your blog post. It was lovely, and really meant a lot <3
Ben - If you shave that beard off I may cry. *Strokes from afar* And thank you for our 'song exchange' on Tuesday :) Made me rather happy <3
Miriam - Thank you for making Kat happy :) And for just being a generally awesome and unusual person.
Sam - T'was really really good to see you again, you little alkie ;)
George - Thank you for all the cuddles!!!!!!!!!!
Right, back to all of you. (Including you, Kat). I hated hopping on that train and leaving you. You made the world so bright and colourful when I was with you, but it was almost like the colour began to seep away the closer I got to home. Luckily, I have an odd streak of purple that will - until it too fades - serve as a reminder of the colours and general awesomeness you showed me.
I love and miss you all.
I'll be back when the colour fades.
Jen xx
P.s. Just found myself trying to think of something vaguely negative to say so this letter seems less ... mushy. I can't think of anything, except that I miss you.
Ellie
Hey Unicorn :) First of all, thank you so much for the memories <3 You are honestly are like a little (age-wise anyway ;)) sister to me. As I have always said, you are amazing, beautiful, astonishing and inspirational to me. It sometimes feels like we are growing apart, but I guess that's okay as long as you know you will always have a big - if short - sister in me, and I always want to be there for you. I hope you know you can tell me absolutely anything.
I'm sorry for all the guy stuff that has happened since I introduced you to my friends... I really am.
I hate to see you unhappy, so I'm always here for a hug and a chat if you need one.
I'm leaving school next year, and though I don't want to leave you, I don't really know what to do. I feel like I should begin to distance myself from you - and the other 'young' ones - so that when I leave for good, it won't hurt as much. But even when I convince myself that it would be for the best, I can't bring myself to do it. So I really don't know... I love you too much to leave you just yet, which is actually kind of selfish really. It's going to be so much harder when I do leave.
Sorry.
Love you, dear.
Jen xx
Aaaaand that's all I can be bothered to do for now. More to follow.
Hatter xx
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